Emily

Oh yeah. I've been putting off writing this one. It's an update on me. So, I'm a mother of three girls which is a full time job and then some. Being a mom is the hardest most rewarding thing I have ever done. I love my girls beyond reason. Even though being a mom is a HUGE chunk of my life, I'm more then just Brighton, Fairon, and Paisley's mom; I'm Emily. (does anyone remember her?) And Emily turned 26 this year. AND 26 has been hard.  About 25 I decided I should probably have my act together by now...You know make my bed in the morning and fall into it at a decent time of night; maybe have a more then 25 cents in my checking account the day before payday. I'm only doing slightly better. Some people my age are finishing grad school now, getting married, and having kids on purpose. Where I have personally been up to my neck in breastmilk for a half dozen years. Sometimes, the things I have done seem so pale in comparison. 
I started working in Feburary after staying home full time for almost 6 years. Working has been challenging and rewarding. I find it soothing to create things, and most of the time my job as a photographer is really wonderful. It makes for really interesting people watching too. 'Picture day' is one of the most stressful days in a parents life. I've learned a lot about being a mom in the portrait studio. Like the mom who is screaming at her children and then answers her ringing cell phone with a sweet gentle 'hello' . You know what that means to me...it means you are capable of controlling yourself when you choose too. Have you ever noticed how often we treat guests better then our own family? I once heard a mom talk about how she was busy yelling at her kids for spilling juice on the carpet when they had company over, then one of their guests spilled the same juice on the same carpet, that mom was so completely forgiving. Moms lose their tempers, I'm am by know means perfect, but shouldn't we treat our children better then strangers?

So, this year I have gained and lost the same ten pounds a dozen times. I hate it!!!! (currently 143) I've come to the conclusion that I will probably spend my entire life juggling my love of food and my love of fitting into a size 6. (really an 8)  Quite a lot of people know I struggle with depression. It's not a secret and I'm not really ashamed of it. It's just a burden I have to bear. Sometimes it's much worse then others. It's currently worse, but I think I'm on the upswing. It's funny when I am consumed with my life just the day to day: Alarm, laundry, wake up kids, brushing three little mop top heads and morning breath teeth, getting myself and three kids dressed, finding socks and shoes and backpacks and breakfast, and  making sure they went potty and making sure that homework is done, walking kids to the bus stop, goodbye kisses, then home for more dishes and more laundry, cleaning up a 24 messes, and watching sesame street with Paisley and answering 'what' when someone says 'mom' 167974 times and all before 10 am. AND just when I think I'm going to scream someone says " I love you mom" or " You're the bestest mom in the whole wide world." or hugs me or kisses my cheek or says "Damn you look beautiful today." Anyway to take my own advice I gave someone earlier this week: Count your blessings. Water your own grass. Adjust your perspective. Life is hard but it's beautiful.

This is my second year as the President of the Young Women in our church. Which is probably the greatest single calling I have ever held, EVER! It is so cool to hang out with the teen girls in our church just as they are deciding who they want to be, and to think that I maybe, just maybe have the tiniest of positive impact on them, is amazing.

Anyway, this is getting long. I'll finish up.

Emily at 26
Likes:
Talking to my twin sister (She lets me complain about my life and helps me see the good and never ever lies to me, like when I asked her if the red screaming newborn in my lap was really as beautiful as I thought she was)
Talking to my friend Nicole ( She helps me rationalize every decision I have ever made, including eating cake for breakfast because it 'keeps my metabolism guessing')
Talking to my husband ( He loves me at my worst, he deserves a medal.)
Morning giggles
Little girl kisses
heart to hearts with Brighton
New words from Fairon
New words from Paisley
Dancing in the kitchen
Getting to say YES to the kids
Making people laugh
Jumping on the trampoline without peeing myself
Getting to hang out with my mom and my dad, They are some of my biggest fans and cheerleaders.

Dislikes:
Not having my husband around
Being socially awkward
mom guilt
feeling lost or unaccomplished
Anything to do with debt
sick kids
Stretch marks
peeing myself when I jump on the trampoline
That cookies aren't calorie-free
I can no longer eat more then a ONE slice of pizza, That I can't drink chocolate milk or egg nog, or apple cider without my gallbladder FREAKING  out and punishing me.
Migraines

I forgot to end with my customary funny or positive message which is always my goal...but I'm tapped out. Lots of love reader. Thanks for making to the end.