Resolutions

So, this blog entry has been a work in progress for almost 3 months. I've been wanting to write for sometime about resolutions and goals. It seemed totally proper to have this be my new years entry...I'm nothing if not punctual.

Which brings me to my first new years resolution. To be more organized. My lack of organization is probably my biggest issue with myself. I have always been a personality that thrives in chaos. <---that last bit is the lie I have told myself for the last few years. A couple years ago, there was this little status update going around on the facebook that asked people to describe you in few words and the most common thing people had to say about me was, "free spirit". People say things to me all the time, like "Emily, you are such a free spirit." I love that term "free spirit" because it makes being flaky sound almost positive.

I'm reminded of an object lesson from high school, where the teacher handed us each a balloon full of air, and a push pin. She said, "TRY to pop this balloon." So everyone put pushpin to balloon and popped the balloon. Then she said,

"you see...there is no 'try' there is just 'do' or 'not do'."

The thing about goals and resolutions (or almost anything for that matter), is that if it's really important to you, you make time to do it. You work on it, and possibly for the first time in my life it has become important to me to become a better version of myself.

The first lesson I've learned this year is you don't have to be the best at something to enjoy it. I give myself permission to do it anyway. I am not the best singer in the world, I'm not great; I might not even be good. In the past that would have been enough to keep me from preforming. But I love music and enjoy singing so I have been accepting invitations to sing in church and other activities. Of course I am nervous but afterward I am grateful for the opportunity to do something I love.
I find I can apply that lesson to a lot of things in my life: running, photography, parenting, cooking, crafting, gardening, scrap booking, my church calling, and even organization.

My second resolution is to simplify.





















(see I'm doing it already)

The Best Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Well the title of this post says it all. This recipe is THE best cookie recipe. I consider this recipe a no fail for delicious peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. Trust me, if I can't screw it up you can't either. People literally beg me to make these cookies. In our house we make them once or twice a week.

Mix in a bowl: 1 C. Sugar & 1 C. Brown Sugar

Add & Stir: 2/3 melted Butter (you can sub. anything butter like, but butter is best)

Add & Stir: 2 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, 2/3 C peanut butter (more or less is fine), 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp Baking Soda.

Add and Stir: 2 1/2 C. Flour

Add and Stir: 3/4 bag of semi sweet chocolate chips. (not more or your cookies will fall apart, not milk because these are super moist gooey cookies and milk chocolate chips will make them fall apart)

Drop by the spoonful on greased cookie sheet. Bake 350 degrees for 9-12 minutes. ( I do 9) And I make them small, just the perfect size to be eaten in a couple bites.

I hope you enjoy them as much as my family does!!!!

Angry ranting for your enjoyment...

I have gone through this baby weight loss journey three times now, and the most surprising thing to me has always been how other people react to my weight loss. Mostly I get positive feedback, usually from people who care about me and my health. Sometimes I am "thinspiration" for others, I appreciate that, I don't feel worthy of it, but I appreciate it all the same.
The thing that surprises me most is when people seem offended by my weight loss. Like my losing weight is some affront to them. I'm losing this weight for a few reasons, none of them being anyone outside: myself, my kids, and my husband. My motivation is truly my health and being a positive role model for my girls. Of course looking better in my clothes and having my husband look at me like a goddess, doesn't hurt either. ( I can't believe I am feeling forced to define why I am losing weight) I recently posted this picture to my facebook page:Brighton picked out this Hello Kitty T-shirt for me, in a size Medium off the clearance rack at Target a month ago. As it was only 3$ and it makes the kids happy I bought it and wear it, even though it's getting a little 'baggy' in the tummy area. The kids giggle every time I wear one of these shirts. And Brighton thinks I am the coolest mom at the bus stop! ( A title I am so thrilled to win)....

So, I was a little confused when this innocent photo...taken Tuesday morning in my sweats caused my weight loss to again be the focus of such criticism by some. My improper pride and vanity has been called into question. Also, because I want to lose my baby weight I somehow don't appreciate my children? I understand some people see vanity as a sin, but I think the Lord wants us to be beautiful and take care of the temple he has given us. I'd like to share a quote by Brigham Young he says:

"Let the sisters take care of themselves, and make themselves beautiful, and if any of you are so superstitious and ignorant as to say that this is pride, I can say that you are not informed as to the pride which is sinful before the Lord, you are also ignorant as to the excellency of the heavens, and of the beauty which dwells in the society of the Gods. Were you to see an angel, you would see a beautiful and lovely creature. Make yourselves like angels in goodness and beauty."

.... I am so amazed by what my body has done it is expanded and stretched 70 pounds three times! It has produced 3 beautiful perfect little girls who I love with all of my soul. I would say all of my heart, but a body is a temporary vessel and my love for my children is eternal. I am mostly hurt by the assertion that I am some how hurting my children by being healthy. Shame on you, anyone who believes that. And finally, that I am proud of my weightloss....Well heaven forbid I be proud of the hard work and effort of losing 70 pounds! (3 times) I have seen much less worthwhile things being toted onto facebook for the world to see.

So without further ado:
I weigh 149 pounds
Size 6/8 jeans
I have lost 71 pounds since March.
(and hell yeah I'm proud of that!)
And I have revised my goal from 135 pounds to 130 pounds.
So here's to the next 19!

P.S. I should mention that most of the drama took place off facebook, in case you are wondering where the fuel for this post came from.

Blog Redesign

So I just spent an hour trying to change my blog...uuughh...it did not turn out the way I had hoped, nothing like it in fact....as I was trying for a black and white color scheme. *Chuckle*
Anyway in the process I lost my music and all the 'blogs I follow'. But the new template is quite cheerful. Hopefully it will grow on me, because I don't want to venture back into the scary world of html, any time soon.

A dream realized....

I have a confession to make. A secret. It's totally dorky I'll admit that right up front. I have had this dream of owning a collection of 'feistaware' ever since I met someone when I was 15 years old with a collection. But since it is $50.00 for a mug, a soup bowl, a salad plate, and a dinner plate....Well, let's just say with three kids multicolored china dreams take a backseat to diapers, clothing, and food. AND I'm okay with that, but I still harbor the dream of someday owning something like this:Filled with this glorious fiestaware:It's a silly, kind of dorky but a girl can dream, right? Hey, some people collect dolls. I hardly have told anyone that I want to collect dishes. So, I was a little surprised when I got a package today with:
My very first set of Feistaware!!!! Sent by my mommy. I nearly cried! So I'd like to introduce my blog to by fourth child: Sunflower Feistaware Jensen. I love them so much. Now, I just need to collect 4 more sets and we can actually eat dinner! Thank you Mommy!!!!!

Home

I complain so much about my home, I wish it were bigger and nicer, cleaner and more organized. Nothing like a few weeks on a hospital cot to bring you some perspective. We spent another 3 days in the 'slammer' with our little Paisley, for another bout of bronchitis. Luckily though we caught it earlier and she was able to recover pretty rapidly. Thankfully they didn't even have to give her an IV. On a possibly related note, for those of you who weren't aware. I have developed a lightheaded-ness and dizziness that causes me to be unable to focus my vision. It's bizarre, and occasionally gives me head shattering migraines. I have no official diagnosis yet, but there are a few things that can cause this:
Meneire's Disease: which is caused by a body's inability to process salt, and turns the liquid in your inner ear to a syrup consistency therefor making it difficult to balance.The treatment is low salt diet, which I have already begun. (life is a little bland without salt)
Vertigo: in layman's terms, there are delicate structures in your middle ear that allow you to balance. A small piece or crystal may be 'floating' around in there where it shouldn't be and it's telling my brain that I am not balanced when I am. This means physical therapy.
Albuterol sensitivity/allergy/ overdose: As you may remember I have been giving Paisley albuterol breathing treatments for about 7 weeks, every few hours and on my lap. It's possible that all that albuterol has affected me manifest as lightheaded-ness. (this is relatively unheard of, but is my husband's favorite theory.)
And the last is optic migraines: just a theory, I know very little about it, but the symptoms fit.
I have an appointment with one of the only two specialists in Iowa tomorrow.

So, I'm sorry that my blog has seemingly become more of a medical history, but this is my life lately. Here is the non medical things that have happened since you last read.
I got a terrible haircut. I mean just bad. I asked for long angled bangs and I got huge bushy shaggy straight across bangs. (what can you do though? but rock it....it works if you work it right?) <-----I think that may be an AA slogan but it's applicable for fashion.
Paisley turned 8 months old!!! I can hardly believe it. And on the day she turned 8 months, she FINALLY popped out two adorable razor sharp little teeth. She is on the verge of crawling...as soon as she was unhooked from all the machines at the hospital she was ready to get down and give it a try. She is so close. She gets on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth. (adorable) I expect in two weeks to be writing about her crawling all over the place. Which I welcome but also fear because she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth! AND we finally got a doctor to take her eye problem seriously. For those of you who weren't aware, she looks completely normal most of the time but sometimes both of her eyes will get 'stuck' and look lazy for a few seconds. It's just weird, and worries me, and 'lovely' people comment on it all the time. She has an appointment with a specialist in Des Moines in three weeks. Hopeful we will have answers all around!
Brighton has developed an attitude, of which I am having trouble controlling. So sassy and bossy, and so good at the back talking. So if you have an ideas I am anxiously awaiting advice. Fairon is learning a few new words thank goodness, but is super clingy after having mom disappear to the hospital three times in two months.
I am positive and looking forward to the future, hopefully healthy...and with a better haircut.

Part 2

Finally some free time to tell you about the latter half of our super trip last week.
Let us begin where I left off shall we?
I was just told that my baby would have to be life-flighted to the Children's hospital and that the helicopter was already in the air. I hadn't showered in two days and I had a clear memory of our trip to that hospital two years before and that the facilities where... let's say limited. (not so easy to shower, it involves permission and keys)
So I hopped into the pediatric ward's shower/tub combo. They use it to bathe the kids on the floor; I had to push aside toy boats and rubber duckies. Not so unlike being at home.
Anywho, in the chaos I realized I had forgotten essential pieces of my clothing but when I got back to the room my husband had packed everything up and the sky paramedics had arrived. The nurses told me I wasn't allowed to go with Paisley. <-----ha. I go where my kids go.
So they loaded her onto a stretcher and got kissed goodbye by daddy and off we went. I don't remember too much about the flight except: The radio headsets are interesting, and everyone can hear what you are saying...everyone. (paramedics, flight crew, pilot, dispatch.) So, It was a little unnerving when they asked me for my weight. (yuck right?) Take off was a little rocky and I wasn't sure what to expect because I have never flown before. We got in the air and they told me Paisley was really stable and looked good, and I sat back to enjoy the flight. It was BEAUTIFUL! Helicopter ride at night: amazing. UNTIL, I realized I was having my very first flight with no underwear on.
What would have normally taken us over two hours to drive took about 20 minutes. I was immediately feeling at ease when we landed and went inside. Everyone was very nice and helpful and of course my mom and sister, and my....stepdad...met us there. (weird, will take some getting used too) We had excellent nurses. I just am so amazed by nurses. There is a place for doctors in the world, they diagnose but nurses heal. They administer all the treatment. I just would love to take a minute to acknowledge all the wonderful nurses we had, even though they will never read it...sometimes you just have to put those good thoughts out into the universe. Thank you: Jackie, Becky, Jennie, Dawn (who cried when she had to hold down Paisley for her IV), Carrie (who helped me get my first goodnight sleep in two weeks), Pam, Kari, and Niki. Also, the amazing respiratory guys Jamie, who had a daughter the same age as Paisley and sat and talked with me during the day when no one was there, and Josh the night shift, who regaled me with stories of his rambunctious 3 years old son Parker, and sat with me in the middle of the night. He made fun of me and just 'got' me.
At Blank Children's Hospital, they encouraged me to do whatever I needed to do for Paisley to feel comfortable, which meant I held her in an arm chair for 3 days straight. They took her blood on my lap, She slept on my lap, cried on my lap, they gave her shots on my lap, changed her diapers on my lap, and did her breathing treatments on my lap. Once in the middle of the night I woke up to the sound of a nebulizer, and looked up in the pitch black room to see Josh coming at me with an oxygen mask. I was drooling, there was some debate as to whether I was snoring. (I still maintain that I was not) Anyway for the next two nights he didn't let me live that down.
We had a couple really tense days but Paisley girl recovered relatively quickly the third day. I almost couldn't believe they were discharging us. Our doctor was amazing and knew an awful lot about our faith as he once dated an LDS girl, and we became fast friends.
There are so many people to thank for their love and support and prayers this past week. My parents, and siblings, my husband, my girls, my friends, and even a few strangers; including one of the bishops of the Ames ward who came to give Paisley a blessing. And you the reader of my blog...for letting me pretend my life is interesting enough to write about.

All in all I am thankful for the blessing of having so many caring and wonderful people in my life, and for my faith in a higher power which keeps me grounded....oh, and for underwear.