Neurotic

Sometimes, while raising Brighton, I think I know what Woody Allen's mother must have gone through.

This morning we packed her bag for four year old preschool, and one of the assignments is to put four things in a paper bag that would tell the class about the student. So I asked Brighton her favorite things and she said: Reading, Drawing, Painting, Coloring, Scrap-booking, and her family. So I found a picture of her with her sisters, and her 'Tangled' chapter book (two birds, one stone), and a box of crayons. But we still needed one more thing. I suggested lot of things: a CD, because she loves music, a necklace because she like dress up, a picture of Jesus.

And I'm just watching her get more and more depressed. I asked her if she was excited for school and she said, "I'm excited but I'm nervous."

"Why are you nervous?"<----mom

"Because I can't jump rope."

"what?"

" I can't jump rope, and everyone else can. I can't ride a bike and everyone else can. I can't swim and everyone else can. Everyone else is good at lots of things and I am not."

I tried my best to help her find her talents: She tells amazing jokes and loves to make people laugh, she has a beautiful voice and if you put anything to music she'll remember it after hearing it only once, she is VERY VERY smart and compassionate. She is kind and caring and is a big help to me. I love her so much. She seemed to feel much better after we decide to try and tackle that jump roping thing. And together we decided her fourth thing should be a microphone.

I related the story to Dan and he was like "...um, does that remind of you of anyone?"

great, I've already passed my neurosis onto my children.

Compare & Contrast

Our girls at around 5 months.

By popular demand....

No kidding...people are holding me accountable to that promise I made to update my blog on the weight loss progress. So, here it goes. I am down to:

165 pounds.


I have lost a total of 55 pounds now since March.
With a goal of 30 more to go.

I'm still not comfortable in my skin yet, but I am constantly being reminded by my mom, who struggled with her own weight, to not let it hold me back and to press forward and let people take photos of me, so I'm remembered in my children's 'memories'. Which is very true.

Look for more photos in the future of my next ten pounds shed!

125 + 2....

Here we are all ready for the Nevada parade.

Daniel works for Coca Cola as an account manager, and this year marks 125 years that coca cola has been in business. So, we handed out pop and merchandise in the Nevada parade. The kids had a great time!!!! The parade happened to fall on Fairon's birthday this year, so we told her the parade was in her honor.

.It was wonderful to make so many people smile!!!!
Afterward we celebrated Fairon's 2nd birthday at Reiman Gardens in Ames. Our favorite things were the Butterfly Garden and the large 'kid powered' chimes.

Fairon at two is one tough little girl. Her name means 'adventurer' and 'wanderer'. Let's just say she lives up to that name. She LOVES to do the exact opposite of what you tell her to do.

Her favorite things are: her sisters, Dora the explorer, Aunt Elizabeth, green beans, having her hair done, butterflies, daddy, far away animals and driving her mommy CrAzY!
She dislikes: 'up close' animals, sharing, sitting while she eats, potty training, listening to directions, nursery school, and having her teeth brushed.

flip flops...

Whenever my life gets stressful I find it best to absorb myself in crafty crap. Here is my latest endeavor, for the parade in Nevada on Saturday that our family will be in.

Now everyone will have beautiful tootsies!

Life's tough. We're not going to make it out alive

The past few months for me have been interesting to say the least. I have been dealing with postpartum depression for five month since Paisley was born. I have been trying to adjust to my post-pregnancy body, to little avail. I love my kids and I wouldn't trade them for any one of these stretch marks...but I have struggled with my identity in a big way since my body has changed so much in the last 4 years. ( I know three kids will do that)

I have been stretched pretty thin helping some of my friends and family, in addition to my everyday responsibilities. It's frusterating to me because people assume that because I am a stay at home mom that I must have tons of free time. They don't understand when I have to tell them "No, I'm sorry I can't do that." It's full of misconceptions, the life of a SAHM.

Anyway, I have been spending a large amount of time with my cousin,Whitney, and helping her watch her son Hunter these last few weeks. I volunteered to watch Hunter for her when I could, to help her get through a rough personal setback in her life. She is a single mom, and listening to her struggles makes me feel so grateful for my husband. I feel so fortunate to have met him so early in my life. I know that Dan and I have one of those extraordinary kind of loves and I never stop thanking God for sending him to me. Somehow he was able to look past all the chaos and love me, and that was nothing short of a miracle.

My aunt, Whitney's mom, died a few years ago. It wasn't really a family secret but we didn't talk about it much, that she was terribly addicted to drugs. I hardly saw her growing up but I remember her being young, thin, and tan. She was so full of life. It was a far cry from how she looked in the hospice; to young to be dying. One of my only childhood memories is of her teaching me how to cartwheel in the grass outside her house. I took Brighton to see her in the hospice a few times before she died...she regretted her life. It was so painful to see. But she taught me more then how to cartwheel. She taught me that life is a gift, and you only get to live it once. So, change what you can change and accept what you can't. <-----this lesson has sat dormant in me for the last few years but there are so many things about myself that I would love to change. And it is within my power to do so. I am going to devote some entries in here about finding more fulfillment in my life; accepting the things I can't change and changing the things I can.
Although, I'm not sure I can still cartwheel I'm thinking I might give it a try.

Don't touch my child!!!

Today is a perfect example of "don't be mean to me or I'll blog about you". I have had a stomach bug for a couple days and in an effort to recover completely I stayed home to rest. I got a few things done and I lounged around with Paisley and watched a black and white movie on TCM called 'Room For One More' with Carey Grant. It was a nice and peaceful and I was feeling much better.

Until...

My husband came home and told me that my Brighton was being very helpful at church and was helping set up for our potluck after our services, when she side stepped herself quickly out of the way of some oncoming adults. ( in short what we have taught her to do) One of them picked up my child and scolded her for 'running' in the church....While my husband was standing right there.

I would never dream of yelling at someone's child while their parent was right there. Especially to go as far as pick up a sensitive four year old that you don't know, and scold her. Ridiculous. You do NOT put your hands on someone's child. YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY CHILD IN ANGER, EVER. And Brighton did nothing wrong but move out of her way and her father was right there. We correct our own children when they need to be corrected.

I have corrected children when their parents weren't around as I would expect others to do to my children. I have talked to other kids when they were in danger or endangering myself or my kids...but never when their parents are right there.

Grrrrrrr

Paisley

Paisley is now 5 months old! As unexpected as our little P.J. was we now can't imagine our lives without her. She is probably the happiest baby I have ever seen. The best word to describe her is 'Jovial'. She loves her daddy, like all the girls, and tolerates me most of the time. She has the most darling laugh. At five months her favorite things are nursing, rough housing with daddy, and playing peek a boo or patty cake with Brighton. Fairon loves to sing her itsy bitsy spider or rock.a.bye baby, much to her joy. She loves to play with my hair and put her little baby fingers in my mouth.
I love to watch her sleep, and listen to her breath and watch her little chest rise up and down. She smells like that perfect baby smell, and sometimes it's so bitter sweet because she is growing so fast. She is our baby and probably the last one, so I fight off the urge everyday to keep her from growing up. She just learned to sit up by herself and she says "Hi" when she coos, swear to goodness. She looks like both of her sisters which is so funny because Brighton and Fairon don't look much alike. She is heaven sent, we believe very literally, to us and Daniel and I couldn't be more grateful for our littlest surprise.