Angry ranting for your enjoyment...

I have gone through this baby weight loss journey three times now, and the most surprising thing to me has always been how other people react to my weight loss. Mostly I get positive feedback, usually from people who care about me and my health. Sometimes I am "thinspiration" for others, I appreciate that, I don't feel worthy of it, but I appreciate it all the same.
The thing that surprises me most is when people seem offended by my weight loss. Like my losing weight is some affront to them. I'm losing this weight for a few reasons, none of them being anyone outside: myself, my kids, and my husband. My motivation is truly my health and being a positive role model for my girls. Of course looking better in my clothes and having my husband look at me like a goddess, doesn't hurt either. ( I can't believe I am feeling forced to define why I am losing weight) I recently posted this picture to my facebook page:Brighton picked out this Hello Kitty T-shirt for me, in a size Medium off the clearance rack at Target a month ago. As it was only 3$ and it makes the kids happy I bought it and wear it, even though it's getting a little 'baggy' in the tummy area. The kids giggle every time I wear one of these shirts. And Brighton thinks I am the coolest mom at the bus stop! ( A title I am so thrilled to win)....

So, I was a little confused when this innocent photo...taken Tuesday morning in my sweats caused my weight loss to again be the focus of such criticism by some. My improper pride and vanity has been called into question. Also, because I want to lose my baby weight I somehow don't appreciate my children? I understand some people see vanity as a sin, but I think the Lord wants us to be beautiful and take care of the temple he has given us. I'd like to share a quote by Brigham Young he says:

"Let the sisters take care of themselves, and make themselves beautiful, and if any of you are so superstitious and ignorant as to say that this is pride, I can say that you are not informed as to the pride which is sinful before the Lord, you are also ignorant as to the excellency of the heavens, and of the beauty which dwells in the society of the Gods. Were you to see an angel, you would see a beautiful and lovely creature. Make yourselves like angels in goodness and beauty."

.... I am so amazed by what my body has done it is expanded and stretched 70 pounds three times! It has produced 3 beautiful perfect little girls who I love with all of my soul. I would say all of my heart, but a body is a temporary vessel and my love for my children is eternal. I am mostly hurt by the assertion that I am some how hurting my children by being healthy. Shame on you, anyone who believes that. And finally, that I am proud of my weightloss....Well heaven forbid I be proud of the hard work and effort of losing 70 pounds! (3 times) I have seen much less worthwhile things being toted onto facebook for the world to see.

So without further ado:
I weigh 149 pounds
Size 6/8 jeans
I have lost 71 pounds since March.
(and hell yeah I'm proud of that!)
And I have revised my goal from 135 pounds to 130 pounds.
So here's to the next 19!

P.S. I should mention that most of the drama took place off facebook, in case you are wondering where the fuel for this post came from.

Blog Redesign

So I just spent an hour trying to change my blog...uuughh...it did not turn out the way I had hoped, nothing like it in fact....as I was trying for a black and white color scheme. *Chuckle*
Anyway in the process I lost my music and all the 'blogs I follow'. But the new template is quite cheerful. Hopefully it will grow on me, because I don't want to venture back into the scary world of html, any time soon.

A dream realized....

I have a confession to make. A secret. It's totally dorky I'll admit that right up front. I have had this dream of owning a collection of 'feistaware' ever since I met someone when I was 15 years old with a collection. But since it is $50.00 for a mug, a soup bowl, a salad plate, and a dinner plate....Well, let's just say with three kids multicolored china dreams take a backseat to diapers, clothing, and food. AND I'm okay with that, but I still harbor the dream of someday owning something like this:Filled with this glorious fiestaware:It's a silly, kind of dorky but a girl can dream, right? Hey, some people collect dolls. I hardly have told anyone that I want to collect dishes. So, I was a little surprised when I got a package today with:
My very first set of Feistaware!!!! Sent by my mommy. I nearly cried! So I'd like to introduce my blog to by fourth child: Sunflower Feistaware Jensen. I love them so much. Now, I just need to collect 4 more sets and we can actually eat dinner! Thank you Mommy!!!!!

Home

I complain so much about my home, I wish it were bigger and nicer, cleaner and more organized. Nothing like a few weeks on a hospital cot to bring you some perspective. We spent another 3 days in the 'slammer' with our little Paisley, for another bout of bronchitis. Luckily though we caught it earlier and she was able to recover pretty rapidly. Thankfully they didn't even have to give her an IV. On a possibly related note, for those of you who weren't aware. I have developed a lightheaded-ness and dizziness that causes me to be unable to focus my vision. It's bizarre, and occasionally gives me head shattering migraines. I have no official diagnosis yet, but there are a few things that can cause this:
Meneire's Disease: which is caused by a body's inability to process salt, and turns the liquid in your inner ear to a syrup consistency therefor making it difficult to balance.The treatment is low salt diet, which I have already begun. (life is a little bland without salt)
Vertigo: in layman's terms, there are delicate structures in your middle ear that allow you to balance. A small piece or crystal may be 'floating' around in there where it shouldn't be and it's telling my brain that I am not balanced when I am. This means physical therapy.
Albuterol sensitivity/allergy/ overdose: As you may remember I have been giving Paisley albuterol breathing treatments for about 7 weeks, every few hours and on my lap. It's possible that all that albuterol has affected me manifest as lightheaded-ness. (this is relatively unheard of, but is my husband's favorite theory.)
And the last is optic migraines: just a theory, I know very little about it, but the symptoms fit.
I have an appointment with one of the only two specialists in Iowa tomorrow.

So, I'm sorry that my blog has seemingly become more of a medical history, but this is my life lately. Here is the non medical things that have happened since you last read.
I got a terrible haircut. I mean just bad. I asked for long angled bangs and I got huge bushy shaggy straight across bangs. (what can you do though? but rock it....it works if you work it right?) <-----I think that may be an AA slogan but it's applicable for fashion.
Paisley turned 8 months old!!! I can hardly believe it. And on the day she turned 8 months, she FINALLY popped out two adorable razor sharp little teeth. She is on the verge of crawling...as soon as she was unhooked from all the machines at the hospital she was ready to get down and give it a try. She is so close. She gets on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth. (adorable) I expect in two weeks to be writing about her crawling all over the place. Which I welcome but also fear because she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth! AND we finally got a doctor to take her eye problem seriously. For those of you who weren't aware, she looks completely normal most of the time but sometimes both of her eyes will get 'stuck' and look lazy for a few seconds. It's just weird, and worries me, and 'lovely' people comment on it all the time. She has an appointment with a specialist in Des Moines in three weeks. Hopeful we will have answers all around!
Brighton has developed an attitude, of which I am having trouble controlling. So sassy and bossy, and so good at the back talking. So if you have an ideas I am anxiously awaiting advice. Fairon is learning a few new words thank goodness, but is super clingy after having mom disappear to the hospital three times in two months.
I am positive and looking forward to the future, hopefully healthy...and with a better haircut.

Part 2

Finally some free time to tell you about the latter half of our super trip last week.
Let us begin where I left off shall we?
I was just told that my baby would have to be life-flighted to the Children's hospital and that the helicopter was already in the air. I hadn't showered in two days and I had a clear memory of our trip to that hospital two years before and that the facilities where... let's say limited. (not so easy to shower, it involves permission and keys)
So I hopped into the pediatric ward's shower/tub combo. They use it to bathe the kids on the floor; I had to push aside toy boats and rubber duckies. Not so unlike being at home.
Anywho, in the chaos I realized I had forgotten essential pieces of my clothing but when I got back to the room my husband had packed everything up and the sky paramedics had arrived. The nurses told me I wasn't allowed to go with Paisley. <-----ha. I go where my kids go.
So they loaded her onto a stretcher and got kissed goodbye by daddy and off we went. I don't remember too much about the flight except: The radio headsets are interesting, and everyone can hear what you are saying...everyone. (paramedics, flight crew, pilot, dispatch.) So, It was a little unnerving when they asked me for my weight. (yuck right?) Take off was a little rocky and I wasn't sure what to expect because I have never flown before. We got in the air and they told me Paisley was really stable and looked good, and I sat back to enjoy the flight. It was BEAUTIFUL! Helicopter ride at night: amazing. UNTIL, I realized I was having my very first flight with no underwear on.
What would have normally taken us over two hours to drive took about 20 minutes. I was immediately feeling at ease when we landed and went inside. Everyone was very nice and helpful and of course my mom and sister, and my....stepdad...met us there. (weird, will take some getting used too) We had excellent nurses. I just am so amazed by nurses. There is a place for doctors in the world, they diagnose but nurses heal. They administer all the treatment. I just would love to take a minute to acknowledge all the wonderful nurses we had, even though they will never read it...sometimes you just have to put those good thoughts out into the universe. Thank you: Jackie, Becky, Jennie, Dawn (who cried when she had to hold down Paisley for her IV), Carrie (who helped me get my first goodnight sleep in two weeks), Pam, Kari, and Niki. Also, the amazing respiratory guys Jamie, who had a daughter the same age as Paisley and sat and talked with me during the day when no one was there, and Josh the night shift, who regaled me with stories of his rambunctious 3 years old son Parker, and sat with me in the middle of the night. He made fun of me and just 'got' me.
At Blank Children's Hospital, they encouraged me to do whatever I needed to do for Paisley to feel comfortable, which meant I held her in an arm chair for 3 days straight. They took her blood on my lap, She slept on my lap, cried on my lap, they gave her shots on my lap, changed her diapers on my lap, and did her breathing treatments on my lap. Once in the middle of the night I woke up to the sound of a nebulizer, and looked up in the pitch black room to see Josh coming at me with an oxygen mask. I was drooling, there was some debate as to whether I was snoring. (I still maintain that I was not) Anyway for the next two nights he didn't let me live that down.
We had a couple really tense days but Paisley girl recovered relatively quickly the third day. I almost couldn't believe they were discharging us. Our doctor was amazing and knew an awful lot about our faith as he once dated an LDS girl, and we became fast friends.
There are so many people to thank for their love and support and prayers this past week. My parents, and siblings, my husband, my girls, my friends, and even a few strangers; including one of the bishops of the Ames ward who came to give Paisley a blessing. And you the reader of my blog...for letting me pretend my life is interesting enough to write about.

All in all I am thankful for the blessing of having so many caring and wonderful people in my life, and for my faith in a higher power which keeps me grounded....oh, and for underwear.

Paisley's Adventure Part 1

In order to tell this story I have to start at the beginning....
About three weeks ago Paisley developed a cough one morning and by mid-afternoon it became increasing apparent that she wouldn't be able to wait for her doctors appointment the next day. When we picked up Brighton from the bus stop, Paisley seemed fine but in the ten minutes to took us to get there and back she could barely breath. I called her doctor and they told me to rush her to the ER. We waited just 10 minutes for Dan to get home and give her a blessing. ( a special prayer given by a priesthood holder)
At the ER they gave her a chest x-ray and told us she had the beginning stages of a pneumonia. They gave us an antibiotic and medication for our nebulizer. (I think that is spelled correctly but my spell check is having a field day) They also gave me strict instructions that she may not sound better after her full course of treatment and I shouldn't worry because 'that is just how pneumonia is'.
For a time she seemed to be feeling better but after another few days her breathing and her coughing reached the point where I knew it was more then just residual illness. BUT, her pediatrician was SWAMPED! ('tis the season they said) Finally Wednesday I took to the ER, where we spent the entire day. They gave her a chest X-ray, gave us antibiotics and medication for the nebulizer. (sound familiar?) and sent us home.
I debated taking her back to the ER on Wednesday night. Because she was no longer coughing but her breathing was getting worse. So, I upped the breathing treatments to every two hours. By three in the morning however she was pulling in her tummy every time she breathed, and was moaning EVERY time she exhaled. Her exhale was twice as long as her inhale and she had stopped eating. I showered quick and grabbed a pair of sweats and ran her to the Emergency Room around 3:00 am. Where they gave her: a chest x-ray, antibiotics, and medication via nebulizer. (sensing a theme?)
When that didn't seem to have much of an effect (go figure) they finally admitted us to the hospital. We stayed in Fort Dodge with her for two days. When we first brought her in she was smiling and happy but they put her on oxygen and IV and made her stay in the crib.(heartbreaking) By the second day she was miserable had stopped smiling, refused to eat, was moaning every second she wasn't asleep. They finally made the choice to send her to Blank Children's Hospital via helicopter. We still hadn't seen an actual doctor. I was getting so frustrated, I would have taken her to an English professor if it meant she could see someone with a PHD. Finally our doctor made a rare appearance, but let's just say I was not impressed with his lack of concern. The air paramedics were literally there in 20 minutes from Des Moines.

Dahlia Girls

Our girls had the privilege of being the 'flower girls' at a very casual Farmers Market Wedding in Des Moines this weekend, for some very dear dear members of our family...
As it was an elopement of sorts I'm not going to tell you who the bride and groom were.

We had a great time. It was a wonderful and beautiful ceremony and feel very blessed to have been apart of something so perfect.

Our week in pictures

Our girls play nicely together for about 6 minutes every morning.

Potty training!

Another 6 minutes where no one was screaming or crying.
It's rare but it exists.
I finally captured photographic evidence.

Sugar and spice and everything nice.
That is what little girls are made of at other houses.
At our house it's koolaid mustaches and dirty hands!

I love to take pictures of the girls when they are naked and I didn't realize how much
until I grabbed a camera the other day to snap this photo and Brighton screamed,
"cover your vagina mom's got the camera!"

Nearly There.

Guess who has a waist?
This girl.

155 pounds and going down!
Yep, those are size 8 jeans!

65 pounds lost since Paisley was born in March
Just 20 pounds left to go.
Wanna see what my kids think?

apparently, Fairon is indifferent.

3,000

3,000 pageviews
which officially makes anyone who reads this blog

awesome.

Blogging for me is incredibly therapeutic. I feel like I have a sense of accountability that I have lacked in the past. I feel like I can write about me, or my family, and I have some tangible evidence that I exist in the world. The things I do, the thoughts I have; they matter. (at least slightly to someone in ...Russia and Germany, according to my log) Anyway, because I blog I have an outlet and that makes me a better mom/wife/human being, whether anyone is reading or not. (although, I'm glad you are. Let's face it: mama loves her some sweet validation.)

Title.

160 pounds.
60 pounds shed since March.
25 pounds to go.

Warning

WARNING: this post will make you think twice about having children, and if you happen to already have children it will make you shake your head....and maybe laugh.

So, last Sunday we put the kiddos in bed and went to bed ourselves around 10. One of the worst things about being married to your best friend, is that you don't get any sleep...and before your mind goes someplace indecent, it's because we stay up all night talking. It was around 11:30, and we had been comfortable in our beds for a good hour and a half, when we heard the tell tale signs through our baby monitor that it was going to be a long night.

"blaaaaahhhh gllaaaaaahhhh."

Yep. Puke.

Dan and I kind of become SUPER parents in an emergency. Moving at the speed of light, leaping over toys and baskets of laundry in a single bound.... one person told us, "you know you are parents when you catch vomit in your hand."

So, yeah we are parents.
by that and every other definition.

In the morning Brighton begged me to go to school, but my apparent rule is 'throw up, minimum one day no school'. And I hoped this would be an isolated freak incident. No such luck over this past week 4 members of my family have had the stomach flu/cough/runny nose hybrid illness.
I've been up to my elbows in bodily fluids. The house stinks like vomit and Vicks. I have had a few, 'just dropped by to say hi' visitors...much to my total humiliation, who have witnessed my glorious dysfunction.
So, here it is Sunday Night, the next Sunday mind you. Seven days after the first and I have just finished cleaning up after Fairon's latest explosion. AND I ask you how can someone so tiny, still manage to projectile vomit over an entire room...when she has eaten nothing all day?

Photo dump!

Hi, my name is Emily and I am a:

I was told by a dear friend to add more photos to the blog. So here goes it:

Paisley and then me (at 162 pounds, for those of you following)

The girls and I went to the mall for the day and all we spent
was the .50 cents it took to power this ride.

Early morning breakfast picnic. Spur of the moment.
My parent philosophy is usually, 'go with it'.
Kids know the important things.

Splash Pad Summer 2011 ~Perfection.



Brighton's first day of preschool Sept. 2011 (4 years old)

Hap Ha Birt Pais

^That is how you would say 'Happy Half Birthday Paisley', (if you were a crazy woman who's daughter Paisley turned six months old today.)

funny.

Our four year old Brighton is a little weirdo. But she is our little weirdo and we love her. Yesterday, Dan and I heard her singing in her bedroom; super common occurrence. She sings everything from kids songs, to current pop and country hits. She has a great voice and sometimes I love to sit quietly and listen to her. We heard her singing, and sneaked in there and listened to her singing what was clearly,"Take the Back Road" by Rodney Atkins. She was sounding great, singing word for word, until she got to the chorus and she started totally belting :

"Makes me want to take your bath robe"

Needless to say...FITS of laughter. That's almost as good as "Sweet Home Ala...Crouton" that she treated us to last week.

One of our girls favorite things to do it sit in front of the computer and watch our monitor scroll through 'My Pictures'. I don't always go through and delete the duds when I import from my digital camera, so we occasionally have some interesting photos. Like this one:

...from our Fairon's 2nd birthday. I was trying to get a picture of the two of us and at the last second Dan stuck out his tongue! I hate it because 1.) we look like carny folk and 2.) Hellllllo, who wants to see such a thing?
Anyway, the computer showed this one and Brighton and Fairon collapsed into a fit of hysterics. Brighton was laughing and screaming and asking me what Daddy was doing. They thought it was crazy that their sweet daddy would do something so disgusting.
Brighton: "If someone put their tongue in my mouth......I'd...I'd....I'd..... I don't know. Maybe I should practice with Fairon and see what happens."

AAAAAAHHH!!

Here's to hoping they think it's a ridiculous thing to do for a good long time.

read it.

If you think everyone around you is an idiot....

the problem might be you.

typical Emily.

Yesterday Dan and I had to go to Ames to have an interview with our Stake President. For those of you who don't know or understand: the stake president is the person who presides over the church in an area, in this case a good large chunk of Iowa.

Anyway, We met with him separately first. He is such an amazing guy. We talked out my kids and how Dan and I met. The he said, "it's time I need to ask you some very important questions, and they pertain to your husband's worthiness." (loaded right?)

So he asked me how my husband treats me....which I was so not expecting and I just started bawling. Not cute feminine one-glistening-tear-down-your-cheek crying either. That's not my style. Apparently I like to make nearly complete strangers feel totally uncomfortable!

Through my tears he looked pretty concerned. I swear for the first few moments he seemed to think I was totally abused by my husband.

The truth was I was just overcome with genuine emotion because my husband is a very excellent human being and I am so humbled that the Lord would allow us to be together. Had I any right to expect a husband who exceeds his own share of the work daily, who loves me and his children endlessly, someone who gives and gives and gives and hardly ever takes? A human being so kind and so good that more rare then a swear word is a negative word about any one. So handsome he still makes my knees weak. So genuine in word and action that he inspires me, everyday to be a better person, worthy of him.

How am I treated? Better then I deserve.

*Sniffle*

Grow, Emily, Grow.

So lately I've been thinking about my talents, or lack thereof. Especially after that talk I had with Brighton a few days ago. I guess you could say I am having some sort of quarter life crisis.(best case scenario) For the longest time, my greatest goal, was to put beautiful things out into the world. Well, I've done that. I made three beautiful wonderful little girls, but that part of my life is over now. <---not raising the girls but creating new little ones. AND I feel a little lost.

I'm 'okay' at a fair number of things. I love baking and cooking and especially eating good food, but no one is going to turn to me for cooking advice. I like scrap booking but I am just a 'beginner', and don't really have the time, or money to advance. I like to sing, but trust me...my best audience is the shower head. (besides the acoustics in the bathroom, when I belt it... PRIMO.) And while I like things organized and clean, I am so far from what you would call 'conventionally organized' and no one would call me neat. I love fashion, but I'm no super model. I like making people laugh, but have terrible stage fright. I like to do crafty stuff, but it hardly ever turns out. This blogging thing is therapeutic and I've made 50$ this month in ad revenue, so I'm not complaining, but I'm a 'drag and drop' blogger and not likely to be much more than that.

.............................................................................

Wow, the point wasn't to get myself down. It was simply to say that I am interested in expanding myself; improving myself. I'm ready to be a someone. A someone who people can say:
"Emily, she is really great at______________."

Now I just have to pick a talent to expand...
Gosh I wish I knew
what that talent was.

Neurotic

Sometimes, while raising Brighton, I think I know what Woody Allen's mother must have gone through.

This morning we packed her bag for four year old preschool, and one of the assignments is to put four things in a paper bag that would tell the class about the student. So I asked Brighton her favorite things and she said: Reading, Drawing, Painting, Coloring, Scrap-booking, and her family. So I found a picture of her with her sisters, and her 'Tangled' chapter book (two birds, one stone), and a box of crayons. But we still needed one more thing. I suggested lot of things: a CD, because she loves music, a necklace because she like dress up, a picture of Jesus.

And I'm just watching her get more and more depressed. I asked her if she was excited for school and she said, "I'm excited but I'm nervous."

"Why are you nervous?"<----mom

"Because I can't jump rope."

"what?"

" I can't jump rope, and everyone else can. I can't ride a bike and everyone else can. I can't swim and everyone else can. Everyone else is good at lots of things and I am not."

I tried my best to help her find her talents: She tells amazing jokes and loves to make people laugh, she has a beautiful voice and if you put anything to music she'll remember it after hearing it only once, she is VERY VERY smart and compassionate. She is kind and caring and is a big help to me. I love her so much. She seemed to feel much better after we decide to try and tackle that jump roping thing. And together we decided her fourth thing should be a microphone.

I related the story to Dan and he was like "...um, does that remind of you of anyone?"

great, I've already passed my neurosis onto my children.

Compare & Contrast

Our girls at around 5 months.

By popular demand....

No kidding...people are holding me accountable to that promise I made to update my blog on the weight loss progress. So, here it goes. I am down to:

165 pounds.


I have lost a total of 55 pounds now since March.
With a goal of 30 more to go.

I'm still not comfortable in my skin yet, but I am constantly being reminded by my mom, who struggled with her own weight, to not let it hold me back and to press forward and let people take photos of me, so I'm remembered in my children's 'memories'. Which is very true.

Look for more photos in the future of my next ten pounds shed!

125 + 2....

Here we are all ready for the Nevada parade.

Daniel works for Coca Cola as an account manager, and this year marks 125 years that coca cola has been in business. So, we handed out pop and merchandise in the Nevada parade. The kids had a great time!!!! The parade happened to fall on Fairon's birthday this year, so we told her the parade was in her honor.

.It was wonderful to make so many people smile!!!!
Afterward we celebrated Fairon's 2nd birthday at Reiman Gardens in Ames. Our favorite things were the Butterfly Garden and the large 'kid powered' chimes.

Fairon at two is one tough little girl. Her name means 'adventurer' and 'wanderer'. Let's just say she lives up to that name. She LOVES to do the exact opposite of what you tell her to do.

Her favorite things are: her sisters, Dora the explorer, Aunt Elizabeth, green beans, having her hair done, butterflies, daddy, far away animals and driving her mommy CrAzY!
She dislikes: 'up close' animals, sharing, sitting while she eats, potty training, listening to directions, nursery school, and having her teeth brushed.

flip flops...

Whenever my life gets stressful I find it best to absorb myself in crafty crap. Here is my latest endeavor, for the parade in Nevada on Saturday that our family will be in.

Now everyone will have beautiful tootsies!

Life's tough. We're not going to make it out alive

The past few months for me have been interesting to say the least. I have been dealing with postpartum depression for five month since Paisley was born. I have been trying to adjust to my post-pregnancy body, to little avail. I love my kids and I wouldn't trade them for any one of these stretch marks...but I have struggled with my identity in a big way since my body has changed so much in the last 4 years. ( I know three kids will do that)

I have been stretched pretty thin helping some of my friends and family, in addition to my everyday responsibilities. It's frusterating to me because people assume that because I am a stay at home mom that I must have tons of free time. They don't understand when I have to tell them "No, I'm sorry I can't do that." It's full of misconceptions, the life of a SAHM.

Anyway, I have been spending a large amount of time with my cousin,Whitney, and helping her watch her son Hunter these last few weeks. I volunteered to watch Hunter for her when I could, to help her get through a rough personal setback in her life. She is a single mom, and listening to her struggles makes me feel so grateful for my husband. I feel so fortunate to have met him so early in my life. I know that Dan and I have one of those extraordinary kind of loves and I never stop thanking God for sending him to me. Somehow he was able to look past all the chaos and love me, and that was nothing short of a miracle.

My aunt, Whitney's mom, died a few years ago. It wasn't really a family secret but we didn't talk about it much, that she was terribly addicted to drugs. I hardly saw her growing up but I remember her being young, thin, and tan. She was so full of life. It was a far cry from how she looked in the hospice; to young to be dying. One of my only childhood memories is of her teaching me how to cartwheel in the grass outside her house. I took Brighton to see her in the hospice a few times before she died...she regretted her life. It was so painful to see. But she taught me more then how to cartwheel. She taught me that life is a gift, and you only get to live it once. So, change what you can change and accept what you can't. <-----this lesson has sat dormant in me for the last few years but there are so many things about myself that I would love to change. And it is within my power to do so. I am going to devote some entries in here about finding more fulfillment in my life; accepting the things I can't change and changing the things I can.
Although, I'm not sure I can still cartwheel I'm thinking I might give it a try.

Don't touch my child!!!

Today is a perfect example of "don't be mean to me or I'll blog about you". I have had a stomach bug for a couple days and in an effort to recover completely I stayed home to rest. I got a few things done and I lounged around with Paisley and watched a black and white movie on TCM called 'Room For One More' with Carey Grant. It was a nice and peaceful and I was feeling much better.

Until...

My husband came home and told me that my Brighton was being very helpful at church and was helping set up for our potluck after our services, when she side stepped herself quickly out of the way of some oncoming adults. ( in short what we have taught her to do) One of them picked up my child and scolded her for 'running' in the church....While my husband was standing right there.

I would never dream of yelling at someone's child while their parent was right there. Especially to go as far as pick up a sensitive four year old that you don't know, and scold her. Ridiculous. You do NOT put your hands on someone's child. YOU DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY CHILD IN ANGER, EVER. And Brighton did nothing wrong but move out of her way and her father was right there. We correct our own children when they need to be corrected.

I have corrected children when their parents weren't around as I would expect others to do to my children. I have talked to other kids when they were in danger or endangering myself or my kids...but never when their parents are right there.

Grrrrrrr

Paisley

Paisley is now 5 months old! As unexpected as our little P.J. was we now can't imagine our lives without her. She is probably the happiest baby I have ever seen. The best word to describe her is 'Jovial'. She loves her daddy, like all the girls, and tolerates me most of the time. She has the most darling laugh. At five months her favorite things are nursing, rough housing with daddy, and playing peek a boo or patty cake with Brighton. Fairon loves to sing her itsy bitsy spider or rock.a.bye baby, much to her joy. She loves to play with my hair and put her little baby fingers in my mouth.
I love to watch her sleep, and listen to her breath and watch her little chest rise up and down. She smells like that perfect baby smell, and sometimes it's so bitter sweet because she is growing so fast. She is our baby and probably the last one, so I fight off the urge everyday to keep her from growing up. She just learned to sit up by herself and she says "Hi" when she coos, swear to goodness. She looks like both of her sisters which is so funny because Brighton and Fairon don't look much alike. She is heaven sent, we believe very literally, to us and Daniel and I couldn't be more grateful for our littlest surprise.

Our very blessed girl...

Guess who turned four?!?!? Brighton J. that's who! I can not believe Daniel and I are parents of a four year old! (and two other little beauties, for that matter.)In the recent past we have had LARGE gatherings for our children's birthdays and while they were fun, we realized that we were missing out on the celebrating. (And footing the bill for a venue and meal for 50+ guests was getting ludicrous.) Mostly, we realized that we were basically carrying on a birthday tradition of our extended families, that doesn't fit the mold of OUR family.

So, Daniel and I decided to scale way back and let Brighton plan the activities, for her day. (genius, eh?) Her requests: we go to the splash pad, to the movies, and out to eat at Applebees. It turned out to be a great idea because her birthday was more meaningful and we were able to afford to get her the things she really wanted. The intimate family gathering helped us to remember that it wasn't just a special day for Brighton, but for us as well. A true celebration filled with gratitude to the Lord for allowing us to care for such a sweet little soul.
Brighton at four is: Smart and sassy.
She loves all things *Rapunzel* which mostly consists of a lot of hair brushing followed by everyone in the vicinity 'witnessing' how long her hair is when it is
A. Wet
B. Just brushed &
C. When she tips her head waaaaay back.


Daniel and I take great pride in raising home grown girls. Girls who have manners, who are kind and smart, who believe in God, have compassion for others, can see the beauty in the world, and can laugh.

Our sweet Brighton girl has raised our every expectation.

She is a girly girl, who loves to get dirty, make art in every form, and dance all over creation. She loves music and has a beautiful singing voice.

She loves the American Flag...don't ask us why, but it makes us proud.

She is fiercely loyal like her father, and loves to make people laugh like her mother.
We could not be prouder to call her our daughter.